Part 1 Practicing Assertiveness
1)Put yourself first. When you notice yourself needing something whether it is intimacy, affection, or attention, give yourself what you need. If you need attention, take a day to pamper yourself in some way. If you need intimacy, spend time writing in a journal or exploring nature. If you need affection, give yourself affection by thinking about what you love about yourself or taking yourself out for dinner and a movie. The more easily you can meet your own emotional needs, the healthier your relationships will be because you will know and understand yourself and be better able to express yourself to your partner.
2) Don’t compare yourself to other women. Having a female role model to look up to is great. Just be careful that you do not fall into jealousy. Although jealousy is natural to some degree, western society tends to exacerbate female jealousy through advertisements and films that feature unrealistic standards.
3) Set clear boundaries. Set clear boundaries that prioritize your own needs. For example, set boundaries with regards to as how much time you spend with someone, or the kinds of criticisms you are not willing to hear. Be sure you have other things going on in your life outside of any romantic relationship, whether it is school, work, friends, a fitness routine, or your family.
Set clear boundaries with the individual and communicate to this person your need to be your own independent person. Once the boundaries have been discussed, stick to them.
4) Stand up for yourself. Whether you are a man or a woman, you will have to learn to fend for yourself in the real world if you want to avoid being taken advantage of. You must learn how to stand up for yourself at school, at work, and in your social life.
5) Believe in yourself. When you believe in your abilities and your achievements, then you will convey strength. Pursue what you need and want. When you lack confidence or play the victim, you risk letting others walk all over you instead of getting what you need and want.
6) Let people know when they have hurt your feelings. If somebody betrays you in any way, be sure to let him or her know. It can be difficult to share your emotions, especially when you feel hurt or angry. But telling the other person how you feel may help prevent the person from repeating the behavior in the future.
7) Learn to recognize codependency. If you are co-dependent, you might find that the relationship defines your life. You might obsessively think about the other person and wait to decide until you have checked with him or her. Strive to overcome codependency by staying alert for the following signs.